Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize