Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
