Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
