the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
