That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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