She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
