my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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