I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
