:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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