that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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