she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I want a musical about memes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
