Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
