whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
