I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
