That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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