she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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