Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im six kinds of drunk right now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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