whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
