still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
