So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
