dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize