Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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