I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
