She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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