turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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