I need help removing her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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