I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
