Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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