I feel great
I just peed on a car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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