I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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