My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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