Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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