dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize