Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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