You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
