think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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