his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
