I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
