If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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