fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
