puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
