Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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