is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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