I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
