I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
