Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
