We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
