I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
