yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
