do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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