How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
