Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
