Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize