Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All the doctor said was why
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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