I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
