Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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