Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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