Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
