i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
