i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am available for nakedness
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
