Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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